How to Meditate Successfully
How to Meditate Successfully
Meditation is a huge trend and is of tremendous benefit for any person. Many people however attempt it and fall short. So why is this the case? Well, I personally think it’s two things. One is that most people are used to quick fixes in this life. Instant gratifications or near-instant results. When we are sick we take a pill and move on with our day. When we are hungry we go to the fast-food drive-through, millions of people choose the fast lane even though speeding doesn’t bring you to your destination any quicker than if you left at a decent time.
The second issue I find is bad instruction and a lack of an experienced teacher. Most people who “attempted” meditation listen to a youtube video or audio-guided version. And then without it, they themselves cant actually meditate. And if they were lucky enough to take a class online or in-person the teacher is only there for as long as the workshop lasted. Now let me be clear all these things are useful and great so don't think I am spitting on these things.
The kind of meditation I am talking about is not transcendental, shamanic journeying, hypnosis, or healing. The type of meditation that I am talking about is what I call “evolutionary meditation” these are the practices of meditation that lead you to be a better person, change, gain clarity of who and what you really are, and yield deep insight into the nature of things Inevitably bringing you to your true nature and what is called self-realization. And from there we can jump off into many other wonderful things like liberation from suffering, the nature of life, deep philosophy, and more.
The Truth is meditation, True meditation is difficult it may be easy for some at first but to make continued progress you have to know how to adjust your meditation so that it will unlock what you are trying to achieve, and so that it will stand strong against the crashing waves of life. The lack of a good teacher and instruction and the ability to understand progress leaves many people just dabbling and chalking their meditation experiences as just fleeting moments just like all other things in life which lead to many quitting or feeling like meditation doesn’t work for them.
Most people think meditation is easy, it’s something hippies and lazy people do. But it’s farther from the truth. Living a lifestyle that involves meditation is very hard. The first thing you realize is that you actually have to apply some effort and that you need to take some time out of your life for it. The next part is that you have to work on your own self. So meditation involves self-awareness, self-reflection, and then after meditation action upon your daily life to complete the experiences or insight that it brings and bring your inner peaceful nature into your outer chaotic world.
And many do not want to reflect and change themselves so this is the first stage where people quit.
Some people have a great experience. Feeling the moments of peace and shedding stress to be immersed in visions, lights, and sensation. Most people at this stage get enamored with meditation they love it and begin to do it regularly. But soon all that fades like anything born of this illusionary world. Because this is what they are experiencing illusion is some form of or the other. It doesn’t mean the visions don’t mean anything but this is not the goal of meditation. Once the fleeting of lights and visions stop this is the second cliff that new meditators fall from. They quit or begin to do everything under the sun searching for their next fix as someone with an addiction lost roaming in the illusion of the subtle realms of self.
If the meditator can get past these first two daunting personal roadblocks they will move into True meditation where reality starts to change, work has been completed and the inner changes become outer through the activity of the meditator living in the new subtle mind-states.
So how do we properly meditate? Well, I will give a quick personal view of a good way to practice and some tips. These tips and knowledge come from over twenty-five years of being a meditator and receiving training by highly skilled teachers of traditions and in the field of mindfulness, and psychology as well as spiritual schools of meditation and personal evaluation. The first thing we have to ask ourselves is “WHAT IS OUR GOAL?” because many first time meditators just start doing it and just go for it and “see what happens” they often hit dead ends or stop when “what is happening isn’t to there expectations or likings anymore” these things are in quotes because they are things I have heard from teaching students and holding public meditation groups for many years.
Our goals our reasons for meditating have to start somewhere. Some start because they are stressed and it was recommended to them to be less stressed. Lol, the funny thing is that there is nothing more stressful to a stressed person than sitting still and sitting in silence while they are stressed lol. It almost always intensifies their issues. Why? Well the reason people are stressed most of the time is they cannot fix the issues in their life, or they are not facing those problems or inner issues and when you sit quietly with yourself you get clarity, and often what you see is the ugly truth about your situations and self. This is not what people want most the time when they meditate they want escapism. Some people want to lower blood pressure, or bring more joy into there life, or have a connection to god that isn’t religious in nature but experiential. These are just some reasons, not everyone’s reason for attempting meditation. The situations are as vast as the ocean,it would be unfair to categorize all stressed people into one little box but there is a point here. If the person who is stressed continues to utilize good meditation techniques time and again, they find that the stress starts to deteriorate and they can become calmer. Its been medically studied that it does help reduce blood pressure. Most people who are active meditators do feel happier less disturbed by life’s difficulties, and most meditators will tell you they feel more in connection to god or the universe than ever. So think about why you are meditating and dont fool yourself. Its going to be a process and just like anything it will have its ups and downs. You will probably have to face some fears, overcome personal limitations, bias ways of thinking, and face yourself and the truth head-on. Anyone person who thinks meditation is easy, something hippies do, or that it only brings joy has never truly met a meditator.
Maybe your reason for coming to meditation is because you are not particularly religious but you feel meditation might help enhance your connection to the divine. Maybe you want to develop your psychic faculties, or clear your mind, or learn to control your mind and emotions. Whatever your reason is, it is probably going to be some work. So figure out what your reason is and then understand and conceptualize what work may need to be put in so that you can achieve that work.
Ok so now you have your goals. And you probably got a good idea of what kind of time realistically you are going to have to put in to achieve that. The best part is its not like its hard like working out or fixing a car. You are going to go inside yourself and work on you.
Meditation recommendations
Always do your meditation in another room than were all the things are happening. Try not to meditate on your bed. Have a chair or mat set aside just for this activity and is used for nothing else. Make sure it’s quiet. If you cannot get completely quiet because your partner is watching the kids or the fur babies then use some earplugs. Dim lighting is conducive to relaxation as well as nice incense or smells. Set a comfortable scenario especially if you are a first-time meditator. Do not try meditating amongst the family on the couch with kids running around and TV blaring. None of those things is conducive to relaxing. If this is how you meditate you are most certainly doing it wrong and or achieve very little.
In making a comfortable space and scene make sure you not too comfortable you do not want to fall asleep. This is why you see yogis and meditators sitting in their asanas or postures. They make it just comfortable enough to relax and not fall asleep so keep this in mind. Do not meditate laying down ether.
Posture is important you want to be comfortable but not too comfortable. You want to make sure you don't fall asleep. Make sure your warm because in deeper states of meditation the body will get colder. So now that it’s quiet, dim lit, nice incense, warm and comfortable. You are all set to begin.
Beginning meditation
Once you are nice and comfortable if you feel like moving or fixing your hair or moving your pillow do all that before you begin the breathing technique. When you are ready just start breathing deep long breaths in the nose and deep long breaths out the nose. You may sigh and yawn this is fine. If you feel like fidgeting, or itching your nose, or adjusting your hair once you start breathing you must not move. This leads to the first discipline of the meditator.
Breathing patterns:
There are many breathing patterns also known as “pranayamas” in Sanskrit. That has been used for well over three thousand years by monks, yogis, and holy men to calm the mind and alter your (conscious perceptional awareness) A.K.A “state”.
These patterns tune the body to relax and the mind to quiet. And if the practitioner loses focus or becomes distracted the simple act of focusing on the breath once again brings them back to the deep relaxed state.
The most famous of these is Shakamuni buddhas breathing repetition and It goes as follows.
Breathe in for a count of 8, hold for a count of 8, breathe out for a count of 8, hold the breath out for a count of 8, and start again.
Mastering this breathing pattern by simply doing it a lot. Will not only benefit you in meditation but also serve to bring your mind and body to a relaxed state anytime anywhere. If feeling anxiety, nervousness, or even just overwhelmed and scatted. This breathing pattern will bring you back to a neutral state. This breathing pattern is a crucial part to meditation that many people overlook and few use. It is the main pillar of successful meditation without it you are just sitting in your pool of overthinking with your eyes closed. Once you have spent some time sitting with your eyes closed and learning how to do this breathing pattern you are ready to begin meditation.
Here we will know approach some fundamental parts of meditation which should be taken into consideration for success, and for practical application.
Stillness:
Sit still for god’s sake!! By not moving your body you are choosing to discipline the mind and body together. The body is going to tell the mind it needs to move, the mind is going to tell itself and the body it needs to move. Creating a distracting loop of “ I don't want to do this” By not giving in to this distraction you begin to take control of your mind and body for the first time. Do not move just observe how your mind-body connection doesn't want to sit still, and how it wants to distract you from peace and relaxation. It doesn't want to be quiet like a child throwing a tantrum. In this part of meditation you just observe the body don’t let your thoughts drift if you are thinking only think about what your body is doing. If you have a pain in your toe, or your neck doesn’t move don't scratch that itch just observe it with all your awareness. You will see that if you just become aware of the distraction it will fade away.
After you have observed the body while doing the 8 fold breathing pattern for a period of time. About 10 to 30 minutes. You will start to notice the body becoming quieter, the breath becoming longer and smoother, and relaxation is now beginning. At this point you will want to let go of focusing on the body and this is good. You can begin to transition to the next part slowly which is observing your thoughts.
Hear just like the body we will observe the distractions.
The mind is not as easy to observe as the body. Being that the body is a tangible thing it’s easy to observe it. When we go to observe our mind thoughts are what we are observing. And thoughts are not tangible. In fact they don't even exist! But thats higher teachings we won’t go into here. We think automatically as you are walking through your day there are times when you are purposely thinking about things and then most of the time your mind is just thinking on its own without your intention and focus. Scientist have found in sleep studies that even when a person is in deep sleep there brain is paying attention to outside stimuli. This is why if you are listening to music when you fall asleep it becomes part of your dream.
So how do we observe our thoughts? Well, the easiest way is to first just NOTICE when you start thinking of outside stimuli. The car going buy, the cat meowing and then essentially ignore it and tell yourself its not important. The word notice is large because when you notice a clear sky you don't chase it down the street to find where it goes, or try to bring it down where you are. You just observe it with no extra thoughts or projections. Don't try to wrestle your mind, just try to WITNESS the “sky”. In observing a thing we are affirming to our self that “we are not that” for it is impossible to be the thing you are observing. Just like sitting in a movie theater watching the credits roll. You are observing the information, the emotional thoughts, the way the mind thinks of the past or future, and then just letting it go. If you find you are getting swept away with a thought return to your breath it will bring you back to center.
In this stage, the meditator will notice the body is much quieter but the mind may have only become a little more quieter if at all. In most meditation and mindfulness instruction they tell you to “ see the thoughts as clouds passing by” that’s all hogwash to me. I have never seen clouds and for most people, they get caught up on the “seeing” part. So here’s how I teach it. You are looking at the back of your eyes and all you see is black. Nothingness. While you are seeing nothing it’s like being in a dark room and there is someone just talking away with all their thoughts, feelings, garbage from the day and you are sitting there listening and thinking “ shut the hell up”
well, that jabbering annoying voice in the dark is your own obsessive thought processes. These processes are going on the whole time you are conscious. Trying to save you from hurt, help you make good decisions, remind you of things you forgot and so on. Anytime one pops up you have either the choice to listen and focus on the jabbering voice in the dark or work hard to ignore it and just breathe. The weird thing is somehow you can do both! But you want to stop yourself from doing that. And this is done by what is called “one-pointedness” by focusing on one thing intensely and one thing only you will not be able to loosely focus on another. This is where our breath work is crucial.
It’s important to know that the mind is always ever thinking of the past or fabricating what your future will be. If you know that and you go to meditate you will see that the mind is always making things up. I mean its job is to be thinking thoughts and in meditation, you are trying to inhibit that process a little. But not by force by just observing it carrying out its function. And because you are observing the mind again you are affirming to yourself subconsciously that “you are not that” like I said you cannot be that which you observe. So re-read this part several times. Understand what is being said here about observing, and not being that which you observe, and practice this step till this is something you can experience.
So onto our first state of meditational awareness, and the second discipline.
Quietness:
Once your body is still and you not moving, And as your breath begins to become more refined and the mind gradually becomes less obsessive. Inevitably your thoughts will have transformed from rapid thinking patterns to gaps of silence in between your thoughts. If you have got here you are approaching Quietness! Once quietness sets in its not enough, we need to hold our discipline and let it deepen. As the stillness deepens the mind begins to become more still and quiet. Less thinking is happening little by little. All you have to do is be patient, disciplined and strong. Keep pushing foreword through all your own mental obstructions. This is a hard place to reach, and its not a place once you do reach you will be at every time you meditate. No Quietness is hard to achieve once, let alone many times. But if you are practicing enough you will get closer to this stage easier and more often till inevitably it will not take long till you can settle into this space easily, and that is what we are looking to achieve.
Once you reach this state often and effortlessly you are liberating yourself from the “monkey mind” as they say in the east or, the mind machine as I like to call it. And you are in a place where purposeful thought can have real clarity. Once you have spent some time twenty minutes or up to an hr in quietness you can begin other types of meditation. Like self-reflection, which is to reflect on the things of the day , your interactions, and actions. If you could have acted better or more virtuous what you could do to have better interactions. Or the best kind in my opinion is contemplative meditation. Asking questions like what is a soul? What is the mind? Does time exist? Etc.
Or you can just continue to depen the quietness and stillness and move to the next state or awarness. Expansion!
Expansion:
In this next state, we go from the quiet state and we forgo contemplative meditation, or personal reflection. Instead, we move on and continue to deepen the stillness of the mind, and the quietness of your own being. Here the exterior senses become dull, and the interior awareness becomes sharper. As your exterior self goes deeper into your own silence you start to feel as if you grow and push beyond the body. This is not something you can imagine it is a real experience that one has as they deepen into the inner self and withdrawal from the outer self and reality.
You begin to experience a bit of your “real self” that part of you that is beyond the body, living in the incorporeal realm of existence. Here is the jump of point of many of the higher and secret meditation practices of certain schools, and lineages of mysticism. You cannot get here however without the time and dedication to the other practices and working your way up gradually till you have locked in each step.
In all meditation, we seek to unchain ourselves from this physical experience to bathe and bask in the light of our true self. What do I mean by that? Well, the part of you that is nonphysical full of peace, and contentment.. By default when doing so our minds become steadier and clear, our emotions become tempered and less volatile, our demeanor is more passive, our actions come from this true nature and gradually subtlety we begin to change. And we find that this benefits us greatly and makes our life more joyful and full of contentment.
Again everyone has there reasons for coming to meditation, and I highly recommend knowing why you came and focusing on your goals. If you take to meditation your heart and soul begin to resonate with it, and inevitably you wont be able to not have it as part of your life. Because meditation is the healing balm the medicine our soul and mind needs. If you do find yourself in this place then meditation over many years will begin to transform yourself and your life and you will grow in ways you may not have imagined. At this point your reasons for coming to meditation may change. And this is a good thing. Now one has only to think of the new reasons one may want to continue meditation and what they may want to gain or do with it.
The truth is all human beings want the same thing. They all want happiness, peace, love, and joy. We all want these things, some of us may go about trying to achieve them in our lives in a strange and sometime a contrary way to the vary thing. But truth is that its what we all want. Knowing this we can assume that anyone who comes to meditation is trying to use it to meet those ends. As we progress through meditation we may want to contemplate this about others and ourselves, And even re-evaluate our reason for using meditation, or use this said here as a reminder of what we are seeking.
Meditation itself is not religious but if one cares to they can weave their spirituality into their meditation. Praying beforehand before meditation adds to one connection to god. Meditation on your god or gods as a way of drawing closer is used in the east as a daily practice. It is up to you rathe r you want to infuse it with your religious inclinations snd or keep it non secular. Personally I do both several times a week. It helps strengthen my connection and the feeling of the presence of god in my life. And I use the nonsecular versions for peace of mind, Self-reflection, and contemplation of lofty philosophical things.
I hope that whoever reads this may find bridges that connect their knowledge of meditation, or ways to attempt this practice than they have previously learned. For the first time meditation student or the seasoned, I hope that all readers and practitioners of the spiritual paths find there destination.
May wisdom, love, and peace illuminate your path.
Michael Phoenix Heart. 2019