Eight steps of Compassion

This meditation is a version of Buddhist teachings and techniques that I have been given in my life. In many writings on Buddhism, we see the mention of compassion and its importance. But I have seen that many westerners misunderstand the reference to compassion. We have this strange view that “good people” “spiritual people” “compassionate people” are those that are soft-spoken, stoic, always smiling, and full of positivity. 

This is Ironious! No one can live like this twenty for seven, I have tried it’s utterly exhausting! Why? Because it’s not natural. Yet living in compassion is our natural state so how can this be?

Well, what I have given above is an example of a false sense of compassion.  There is a natural state of compassion and it may seem hard at first to rest in because it goes against the norm of what we think it is, and how we are to act in society.

So let’s remove some misconceptions. Compassion just like love is not an emotion yet you may experience emotions as a byproduct. Compassion just like love is a state of being. I will say that again. COMPASSION AND LOVE ARE STATES OF BEING! I’m sure this has you scratching your head at least a little. So we will need to use a little philosophy to deepen our understanding of this. 

Let’s look at what “being” means first. Being is defined as  “something having existence”  so basically YOU exist so you have beingness.  Being is sometimes synonyms with entity, soul, essence. 

Let’s look at  “State” state is defined as “ the condition of a thing at any given moment”  synonymous with. condition, mode, temper, condition.

So if compassion is a state of being, It means that compassion is a condition or temperament of the existing soul/being, It’s the very essence of the existing entity. You still may be a little confused, that’s ok this is deep. And something that anyone who wants to truly understand it needs to chew on and mull over for some time till it reveals itself.

It is the very nature of you as a soul to be compassionate! But what does compassion mean? Because what we want to relate it to is a bunch of emotions and feelings. But like I said compassion isn’t an emotion. Emotions are byproducts of these states of beings.

So let’s look at the definition of compassion and see if it reveals to us anything deeper.

Compassion is defined as “ sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.”  

Now, this I don’t agree with entirely. Having pity is not compassionate in fact it implies judgment. But the word “concern” seems to imply that our attention and desire is to the state and welfare or well being of another. Compassion is synonymous with concern, gentleness, understanding, mercy, benevolence, kindness. And if we were to ask someone to point out a compassionate person in a crowd there would be the actions that a person would display in their activities and actions.

Essentially compassion is the concern for another’s wellbeing. Wellbeing meaning the positive state of being for another. 

Now in order to be concerned with other people’s wellbeing, this means we are probably not in a selfish state of being. It does not mean however that we are not concerned with ourselves, NO! To be concerned for other peoples well being at the expense of our own is not compassion it’s foolishness. So don’t get caught in the savior complex of sacrificing yourself for the betterment of others. In my experience, they almost never appreciate it anyway. 

If compassion is a state of being that means it must also be nourishing to you before you are able to extend it. If you are in a state of compassion then you are concerned for the wellbeing of your state of being/soul. And if this is happening for you in a good way and you are nourished it is effortless to extend that compassion to others. Here this becomes tricky because we could get caught in the state of mind “ well I just got to do whats good for me” Know that we are not talking about your rent or your job. We are talking about the state of well-being of your soul the immaterial you.

What’s good for your soul is not often what you think is good for your body. But that’s a different article. For now, we can understand that our “being” is our soul the immaterial self.  And when we express compassion it is not toward the material person but instead for the well being of that person’s soul/being.  This means that we have to look at people as beings/souls and not fleshy humans in order to express compassion. Which means we must first understand ourselves as this kind of being, and inevitably come to understand that all beings are the same. We all want love, acceptance, freedom, happiness, peace, and joy in our lives and relationships everyone does regardless of their actions. 

Once we deeply realize this when we meet someone we meet them as a pur being, and we extend to them kindness because we understand them, because they are exactly like ourselves who are also pure beings. And in acknowledging this purity of being it removes all the saturation of our human lives. The heaviness, the gross material weight of material existence is lifted and when another recognizes you as the pure being you are, there is something freeing about that instantly which frees you to be in that natural state of compassion. 

So here we see that recognizing another as their pure being which is exactly like our own it makes it easy to extend kindness, understanding, and mercy, which in turn frees that person of all the debilitating weight of life so they may experience their pure state of being themselves. Wow! How magical and powerful such a simple thing is. By being compassionate you can free someone of the bondage of suffering! Powerful!

The meditation:

1:Start with the eightfold breath relaxing and deepening your relaxation. Do this for twenty to thirty minutes before moving on. 

2: Begin to think about someone you love deeply. This could be a spouse, a past loved one, even an animal friend that brings love to your heart. Spend five or ten minutes experiencing the state of compassion based on what was said above. Thinking about that person as a pure being, who wants love joy, and happiness just like you do. Try to experience the state of being concerned with their well-being and happiness. Wanting the best for them, their life, their soul etcetera.

3: From here we move our attention to a loose acquaintance, someone we know but are not too close with. And we do the same thing we see them as a soul/being and express this concern for their being, and happiness. This may be a little harder as it’s easy to “feel” compassion for people we know and love. But again compassion is a state of being not an emotion, as we move on you will find yourself farther from emotion and trying harder to experience a state of being. The only way to do this is to come to the understanding that all beings are like you and they want the same things you want, so you offer that light and understanding to them. 

4: Once we have done this for a sufficient time and felt like we have made the right progress. We then move on to a complete stranger. Since this would be impossible to fake you will have to choose someone you know of. Like the homeless guy on the corner begging for change in your city.  A celebrity that you don’t already like and read about but loosely know of, a world leader who you don’t like at all. You get the point, we are trying to make this a little difficult so choosing people you already like defeated the purpose of this exercise. Try to go with people that you don’t already like, you don’t want your bias tainting you trying to exercise true compassion.

5: Now we move on to a group of people. A government, religious movement, a corperation, a whole country.

6: Then we progress to the whole world of beings. This may be quite hard to do and may take time to get up to. Practice all these steps until it becomes easy for you. 

7: We then move to have compassion for beings in all the limitless realms. At this stage, we do not need to think of each individual realm or even any of them. Here we should be at a stage of just being a pure emanation of compassion for all beings everywhere regardless of form, density, or location. Here you may spend time just experiencing yourself being a fountain of compassion

8: Finally we come to  having compassion for ourselves. Now you may notice that we end with this and maybe thinking why don’t we start with that? Well, it is because the truth is most of us have an easy time loving complete strangers before giving ourselves love and compassion. And by this time you have already expressed compassion for the whole universe so it should be easy to give yourself some.  When the Buddhists say  “ may all beings be free of suffering” they are including themselves as one of those many beings. So here you may give yourself compassion.

I recommend that anyone who practices this with continuing effort, to considering the definitions and perceptions of those definitions mentioned.  And to spend a good amount of time on step seven and eight experiencing.

Michael Phoenix Heart 2020